i'm getting tired and i need someone to rely on
by Pallet and Cerulean
Summary: "'I don't know why, but I felt like I couldn't control myself. I knew I would break my connection to Genista if I moved, but I needed to-' Kokoro stopped herself short, the words 'kiss you' nearly slipping out." After Kokoro slips up in a battle, she and Mitsuru talk about their partnership.


The dusty desert lay barren in front of Squad 13, aside from a growing black splotch on the horizon. Even all the way across the vast desert, it was clear the Klaxosaur was enormous, hurtling towards them at high speeds. Unlike most, the beast didn't seem to move on four legs, or even have legs at all. Instead, it hovered over the ground, clouds of dust spraying up behind it at the rush of air it left in its wake.

They had already fought off a horde of Conrad-class Klaxosaurs, their black and blue flesh littering the desert floor. While the small ones had definitely been threats to the plantation, it was the coming Klaxosaur that had everyone worried. It was unlike anything they had ever fought before, both in size and build. It wouldn't help either that everyone had already spent so much fuel, as well as their own energy, on the Conrad-class horde.

"It's a rare type of Gutenberg-class Klaxosaur," Nana's voice came from across the coms, back at the plantation. "Be careful, this won't be your standard fight."

Deep inside the metal body of Genista, Kokoro steeled her nerves. Though she had confidence in Mitsuru, her recently appointed partner, as well as the rest of her squad, it was always a bit nerve wracking going up against the unknown. They had already gotten themselves into a few sticky situations against several different Klaxosaurs. Luckily, everything had worked out each time, but it certainly wasn't without risk.

Interrupting her thoughts, Argentea's face crackled to life on the screen in front of her. She could see Zorome's confidence written all over the robot's features. "We can take it down, no problem," he called confidently. Soon, his Franxx was breaking the carefully planned formation, a blur of pink streaking across the desert towards the nearing Klaxosaur.

"What are you doing?" Miku asked irritatedly, though it came as no surprise that Zorome would disobey instructions. At this point, Miku was used to putting up with his antics.

At Ichigo's command, the rest of the squad took off, following closely behind. As they neared the beast, Kokoro couldn't help but notice how huge the Klaxosaur really was. It was easily twenty times the height of a Franxx, as well as stretching a long ways back. While it didn't resemble much in terms of shape, the Klaxosaur started out bulky and squared, its end tapered to a thin tail that was covered in glowing blue spines. The spines oozed a black liquid that sizzled when it hit the ground below, leaving behind smoking scorch marks.

In usual fashion, Zorome and Zero Two were the first to the beast, eagerly jumping in without a plan. Neither of their weapons seemed to have much of an impact though, sinking into the Klaxosaur's boggy flesh without making so much as a scratch. The others slowed to a stop, Franxx lining up side by side. "How are we supposed to get to its core if we can't get past the skin?" Goro questioned, voice puzzled as it came over the coms.

For a moment, there was nothing but a tense, worried silence as everyone wracked their brains. "Just sitting here won't solve anything," Ichigo insisted. "We need to start trying at least," she reasoned, spurring Delphinium forward.

A chorus of consents chimed out in the air, Franxx all charging in towards the Klaxosaur with weapons raised. Only Genista hung back, Mitsuru keeping still. Kokoro could feel his apprehension through the controls, yet he didn't seemed scared or concerned. Instead, he watched the others in their futile attempts, Zero Two and Hiro the only ones even making a bit of progress at the Klaxosaur's malleable flesh.

"Come on, we should help them out," Kokoro urged, trying to keep her tone light and kind. Snapping urgency would do her little good, even if her insides squirmed nervously at the sight of the Klaxosaur quickly gaining ground towards the plantation.

After a beat, Mitsuru tightened his grip on the controls, easing Genista forward. "You trust me, right?" Mitsuru questioned, picking up speed as their Franxx bolted across the cracked ground, heading towards the back of the beast.

"Of course," Kokoro replied, though a bubble of anxiety filled her chest. If he had to ask, Mitsuru was probably planning to do something dangerous. "What are you going to do?" she asked, trying to keep any fear out of her voice. Like she said, she trusted him. No matter what Mitsuru was planning, she knew he would do his best to get them out safe.

"Look at the tail," Mitsuru explained, catching the attention of the other pilots through the coms as well. "The spines must be solid, otherwise they wouldn't do any damage. If they were as moldable as the rest of the Klaxosaur, they would just bend on impact. So, if we can break off one of the spines, it should give us and opening to rip through the skin and get to the core," he reasoned, slowing Genista as it came alongside the Klaxosaur's tail. Black, scorching acid oozed from the spines, which were tightly packed together. If they wanted to get out without taking major damage to their Franxx, they would have to be very careful and very precise.

"That's a good idea. It's worth a shot," Ichigo called, "but you'll need to be careful."

"Can you guys hold it still?" Mitsuru asked, studying the way the tail lashed behind the Klaxosaur. He would need to be quick and time his moves carefully. Besides being coated in acid dripping spines, the tail was thick and heavy and could easily batter a Franxx.

"We'll do our best," Ichigo replied, Delphinium veering off the stand in front of the Klaxosaur. The rest of the squad did the same, digging their heels into the cracked ground and pushing back against the charging beast. Their efforts helped, substantially slowing the Klaxosaur, but they couldn't stop it. A piercing, metallic roar echoed in the air as it pushed against the Franxx, shoving forward.

"I don't know how long we can hold it," Goro called. "Try to make this quick," he said, straining to keep Delphinium on its feet.

"Right," Mitsuru replied, hurtling in towards the Klaxosaur's tail.

Th Klaxosaur lashed its tail violently, clearly angered now. Jumping up to meet the tail mid-swing, Mitsuru steadied his aim, heart pounding. Just before the pointed spines could reach Genista's metal armor, he swung the Franxx's canon around. Unable to stand up to Genista's fire power, several of the tail spikes splintered and cracked, waves of acid spilling from them. Beneath them, he could make out the dark blue of the Klaxosaur's exposed flesh. Lurching forward, Mitsuru barely managed to avoid the torrent of bubbling acid and shattered spines. For a brief moment, pride and relief washed over him, but it was all swept away in a split second.

The Klaxosaur smashed it's tail down, shoving Genista down beneath it. The beast's spines sunk into the dusty ground, effectively pinning its tail to the ground with the Franxx still beneath it. A large spine pierced through one of Genista's arms, spewing acid that ate away at the metal and left smoking burns in its wake.

Panic making Kokoro's mind and heart race, she tried to keep herself calm while Mitsuru struggled with the controls, trying to free them from beneath the Klaxosaur. It was no use, though. The tail weighed more than all of the squad's Franxx put together and it wasn't budging. No matter how Mitsuru strained and pushed, they were completely trapped. To make matters worse, acid was dripping down to scorch Genista's surface, reducing the tough metal plating to nothing but smoldering debris. It was only a matter of time before it melted through all of the metal and wiring and reached them.

"I promised I would protect you, Kokoro," Mitsuru said bitterly, voice strained as he struggled to break them free. A possessiveness crashed over him, a desire to keep Kokoro safe, no matter the cost. He twisted beneath the heavy tail, managing to free one of Genista's arms, though the other was still anchored to the ground with a spine through the metal. Scrambling for his weapon, Mitsuru tore at the Klaxosaur's exposed flesh with Genista's bayonet, earning a shrieking roar from the beast.

Kokoro, feeling Mitsuru's emotions wash over her through their connection, tried to push down the desire that was rising beneath her skin. She knew she had to focus, for the sake of both of their lives, but she had never felt this way before. It was like an instinct, long forgotten and lying dormant, had flickered to life. Mitsuru's desire to protect her had fire rushing through her veins, every nerve in her body attuned to him. Reflexively, she ran her tongue over her lips, shifting slightly in her place.

Even though her mind knew she had to stay where she was to keep their connection with Genista, her body insisted she need to be with Mitsuru. She needed to feel his skin on hers, his lips on hers. Blood pounding in her ears, heart beating at a feverish pace, Kokoro tried to tramp down the persuasive desires that rushed through her. She knew better. So, why couldn't she control herself?

A shrill cry rang out from the Klaxosaur as it finally started to lift its tail, having had enough of Genista's blade tearing at its flesh. Just as the spine slipped out from Genista's arm, freeing them, Kokoro stood from her spot, breaking their connection. The Franxx fell limp to the ground, unable to move despite Mitsuru's frantic attempts to get away. It was only a moment before his gaze caught Kokoro's, her green eyes alight with desire. All she managed was a step in his direction before Genista was jolted to the side, throwing Kokoro off her feet.

Shaken from her heated stupor, Kokoro looked out to what was going on. After a moment, she realized Delphinium had swept in, knocking Genista out of the way of the Klaxosaur's whipping tail. If Goro hadn't pushed them out of the way, they would have been completely crushed.

Face flushing with shame, Kokoro unsteadily got to her feet and returned to place. She dropped to her hands and knees, letting Mitsuru reconnect with her. While he did, she couldn't ignore the ashamed guilt that squirmed in her stomach. If she could have just controlled herself and stayed put, Goro and Ichigo wouldn't have had to put themselves at risk to save her. Even worse, she had put Mitsuru at risk too, when he had been working so hard to keep her safe.

By the time they had gotten reconnected, the battle was over. Strelizia's spear had ripped through the hole they created, finding the core and shattering it with ease. Everyone seemed to have gotten out with only a few minor scratches and dents, aside from the Genista. Their Franxx was covered in melting scorch marks, with the left arm hanging useless at their side, torn to pieces by the Klaxosaur's spines.

On their way back to the plantation, Mitsuru and Kokoro kept quiet, tension thick in the air. Even once they got back, Kokoro hurried to change and kept at the back of the group of girls, not wanting to answer their questions or listen to their concerns. She knew she would have to eventually, it was her mistake and she would own up to it, but she didn't feel up to it at the moment.

Turning a corner and breaking off from the group of girls, Kokoro quickly headed down the hall. She picked out the door she was looking for and stepped inside, closing it silently behind her. When she had first discovered the spare, unused dorm room, Kokoro hadn't thought much of it. Now, it was a nice place to escape the others when she needed a break. She really did love the girls in her squad, but being around them day and night could get tiring. Especially with Miku's enthusiasm and now Zero Two's somewhat intimidating personality, she found it could be a bit hard to relax around them.

Now, she was drained and exhausted and just wanted to get some rest after the fight without confronting the other girls. After her slip up in the fight, she was sure Ichigo would have concerned questions, as would the others. Kokoro didn't think she could muster a dismissive smile right now and politely ward away their questions. A quiet sigh escaping her lips, Kokoro moved sit on the bottom bunk. Before, she had noticed the rest of the beds in the room had been stripped of their mattresses and sheets, likely used to furnish other rooms. The rest of the room was rather bare too, only a small dresser sitting in the corner.

Kicking off her shoes, Kokoro was about to lie down when the door slid open, catching her attention. Focusing her effort into drawing an innocent and friendly smile on her lips, Kokoro desperately hoped whoever was there would graciously leave her alone. Though, her false smile dropped when Mitsuru stepped through the doorway, shutting the door quietly behind him.

"Mitsuru?" Kokoro asked, confusion slipping into her expression. She had expected Ichigo to come looking for her, or maybe Ikuno, but definitely not Mitsuru. Though, she was relieved she could be open with him, not all rosy smiles and assuring words. "How did you know I was here?" She asked, careful to keep her voice down, not wanting to let anyone else know where they were.

"I watched you split off from everyone else," Mitsuru explained, a sort of indifference in his tone. He crossed the room, steps seeming to drag more than usual, stopping beside the bed. Closer now, Kokoro could see the same sort of exhaustion in his expression that she felt seeping into her own. It had been a long time since she used up so much energy in a fight, if she ever had before.

A stubborn tension settled over the room, mingling with the thick silence until it seemed palpable in the air. Seeing as Kokoro clearly wouldn't acknowledge the subject, Mitsuru took it upon himself. "What happened out there today?" He asked, not bothering to mask the edge in his voice. Kokoro's slip up could have gotten them both killed, so he needed to hear her side.

"I've felt different since I partnered up with you," Kokoro started quietly.

When she first partnered with Mitsuru, their connection had been low but stable. Though, each time she rode with him, it climbed higher and higher, quickly surpassing even the best connection she had with Futoshi. And the higher their connection got, the more intense the feelings that came with it, both emotional and physical. During their battles, it was getting harder and harder to ignore the mounting, almost aching sensation that bloomed low in the pit of her stomach. It was like some sort of need that she just couldn't sate.

And Mitsuru's emotions were getting clearer and more dominant each time she rode with him. If a rush of pride pulsed through him, it seemed to travel down into her now too. So, when they were in trouble, pinned beneath the Klaxosaur, and a possessive, protective surge of desperation raged though Mitsuru's veins, it had overwhelmed her. Affection, adoration, and desire tangled in her heart and drove her to do something she knew she shouldn't have.

"I think you felt it too. I don't know why, but I felt like I couldn't control myself. I knew I would break my connection to Genista if I moved, but I needed to-" Kokoro stopped herself short, the words 'kiss you' nearly slipping out. Heat indignantly rose to her cheeks, dusting them with pink no matter how she tried to push down the blush. Knotting her fingers together, Kokoro averted her eyes from Mitsuru, forcing her gaze down to where her hands rested in her lap.

She wished some of her earlier confidence would come now. Before, adrenaline and desire pumping through her veins, she had felt so assured, ready to, rather, needing to kiss him. Now, even mentioning it made her stomach tremble nervously and her face bloom with heat. "Anyway," Kokoro started again, shakily, "I'm sorry about what happened."

After a moment, Mitsuru let out a resigned sigh, running a hand through his hair. "I guess I'm not without blame either," he replied quietly. "I shouldn't have let my emotions get the best of me," Mitsuru muttered. In truth, he had noticed the strengthening of their connection and the link between their feelings. He just hadn't considered his part in it, that if he let his emotions consume him, they would crash over Kokoro too.

"We will just both have to be a little more careful," Kokoro said gently, a ghost of a smile on her lips. She relaxed a bit, turning her gaze up to Mitsuru. If there was something he continued to prove again and again, it was that Mitsuru was someone she didn't need to be nervous around. When he was partnered with Ikuno, Kokoro has always found him to be a bit distant and apathetic. Though, the more time she spent with him, the more she realized he really was a good person, just a little misguided or unsure from time to time.

Giving a slight nod in reply, Mitsuru squared his shoulders, putting up a front for the rest of the world, and headed for the door. Halfway there, he stumbled over his feet, catching the bed post to keep from falling. Reflexively lurching to her feet, Kokoro reached out a hand to steady him. Her hand found his arm, fingers supportively wrapping around the lithe muscle even though Mitsuru had already regained his footing.

"Are you okay?" Kokoro asked gently, concern creasing the skin between her brows. He looked just as tired as she felt, but she knew he must have been utterly exhausted if he let his steady and polished facade fall, even for a moment.

"I'm fine," Mitsuru replied, the words falling off his tongue automatically. Though, seeing the persistent worry in Kokoro's gaze, he corrected himself. Hollow lies wouldn't fool her. "I'm just feeling drained after the fight," he answered, honestly this time.

A moment later, Kokoro's hand fell from his arm and she sat back down on the thin bunk, hopeful eyes trained on Mitsuru. "Why don't you rest here too," she suggested. "I just wanted to get some sleep without having to talk to the girls in our room. You could do the same so the boys don't bug you," Kokoro explained, looking too sweet and genuine for Mitsuru to refuse. Besides, the offer of a quiet bed without Zorome and Futoshi's jabbering in the background was tempting.

Taking a seat beside Kokoro, Mitsuru let out a breath. "I think I'll take you up on that," he agreed.

Satisfied, Kokoro offered a gentle smile and slipped into the bed, sliding to the side to make room for Mitsuru in the small bunk. Almost immediately, fatigue washed over her while she watched Mitsuru hesitate for a moment before he laid down beside her beneath the blankets. Turned to face him, Kokoro let her gaze sweep over his face. Dark lashes fell to pale cheeks as his eyes closed softly. He settled in beside her, somehow seeming more human than he had before. A contented sigh fell past his lips, making Kokoro smile through the pull of sleep.

Mitsuru could seem intimidating at times, standing stiff and keeping his thoughts to himself, but seeing him like this, vulnerable and content, Kokoro felt warmth blossoming in her heart. She had grown fond of these quiet, simple moments, with nothing to stress over and nothing to worry about, just her and Mitsuru, able to be who they are.

"Mitsuru?" Kokoro whispered, watching the way his eyes fluttered open at the sound of his name. He turned his attention towards her, already looking drowsy.

"What is it?" He asked, voice low and tired. For a beat, Kokoro almost felt bad for bothering him. Ever since their connection in their Franxx started increasing, battles seemed to be getting more draining, both physically and emotionally. Kokoro supposed it was because it was difficult to share so much, to be so open.

Refocusing her thoughts, Kokoro let her gaze find Mitsuru's. "Are you happy being my partner?" She asked softly, concern and insecurity glistening in her bright eyes.

"I never would have done this with Ikuno," Mitsuru said in return, gesturing across the bed. In truth, he wouldn't share a moment like that with anyone except Kokoro. There was something relaxing about the girl. She was genuine and real, kind despite her faults, and was the only one who cared to look past the walls he had built up.

Not quite satisfied with his answer, Kokoro's eyes stayed fixed on him, searching hopefully. A smile tugging at his lips at her earnestness, Mitsuru let his eyes fall shut again, too tired to keep them open. "I'm glad you're my partner," Mitsuru mumbled, weariness slipping into his voice.

A content warmth swelled in Kokoro's chest, setting any worries she had at ease. Feeling bolder now, more secure, she nestled in closer to Mitsuru. Her head came to rest on his chest, the beat of his heart steady beneath her ear. She felt him stiffen for a moment, but his chest fell slightly as he let out a breath and she felt him start to relax. Gently, Kokoro placed a hand on his abdomen, settling in. A sense of relief flooded her when his hand came to the back of her head, absently smoothing over her hair. For a moment, she reveled in his touch before he let his hand fall back to the blankets.

It wasn't long before Mitsuru was asleep, the rise and fall of his chest slowing and evening out beneath Kokoro's head. Savoring the moment, Kokoro drew in a deep breath and let it out again. It had been a long time since she had felt so safe, so cozy and comfortable. Even with exhaustion making her limbs feel like lead and bogging her mind down, she didn't think she had ever been happier. Her heart was full and warm and the person she loved was safely tucked into bed with her. Kokoro truly didn't think she could ask for anything more.


End file.
